Disclaimer: the views expressed here are not necessarily those of the particular writer; if you agree, family is family. This is dedicated to you.
FAMLAM or familia, Family call it what you please. It is a blessing ™♥we should all count.actually hold that thought right there.
Family, is that when daddy hits mama for not telling him about her whereabouts in the course of a few evenings? (This is Paranoia thumps trust). Is family spelt out as my father throwing secret smiles and lewd looks towards me when mum looks in the opposite direction? Or how he firmly grips my behind as he tucks me bed and his hands linger too long on the smooth skin of my bosom saying ‘’our night game is about to commence ,are you ready ‘’he asks?
Family, what is that? Where I originate from I cannot relate with the subject matter. Kindly describe it for me. Is it when mum locks me up in the house for fear of her mistakes of child bearing at 16 repeating themselves? Or is it when I have to split the time frame of years of how and when to see dad after mom left and never returned; each week he has a new woman I fail to keep up with motherhood title. Or is it when you are the step kid in the family and therefore left to eat the dinner leftovers with the dogs?
Which blessing is that! Call me vinegary but I see no cause to join in on the celebration of family blessings. Be careful petite one, allow me spell out family before you trigger that debate; you must know family is family and will not always be perfect.
I’d rather have a mum who throws endless tantrums and mood-swings owing to post menstrual syndrome but supports my every decision and makes an initiative to be there for me in every aspect be it financially or physically.I’d also rather have a house full of the adorable and many a times annoying creatures I call siblings; they are a chosen generation too; only younger and whose potential energy will birth generals, queens, kings. I can definitely count the joules on their output. Oh God, who am I that you associate me with such pronounced quality?
My version of family comprises having someone who accepts all of me, all these flaws of drug and porn addictions but still takes me to church on Sunday to hear of a God who saves and finally drives me to rehab instead of JUVI’.’ yes , I agree 100% family is a actively shows tough love
I also would prefer to have a 1000 fathers who whim about wearing jeans in the sense off indecency or have him wag me for failing to touch the peak of his academic expectations for me ,other than placing me on the streets for failing to live up to his success criteria. Because I cannot visualize myself doing night shifts along Speke road, here in Kampala. The thought of living just to satisfy men with high sexual appetite and leaving me to wallow alone in pity and contracting venereal diseases is stomach-turning.
Before you attempt to interrupt me with your un-invited opinions of how much I don’t know, hear me out at least about how much I know on this topic. I can read the confusion on your face.
I would entirely accept my brothers who wag fingers and clench their fists at men who disrespect me such as that orgy of violence alias ex-boyfriend who hit me once for refusing to subscribe to his uncouth beliefs. Hold that submission talk lady. He demanded sex as a test drive before marriage which I find very sacred.(ladies you are not playthings)those protective brothers who are all about hullabaloo about having special man friends and still chase after people’s sisters industriously .Family is quite paradoxical.
I also would have a mum who locks me out of her house past midnight to shoulder burdens of cold breezes because I am past curfew. I prefer that to ending up on the streets seeking solace as a ‘’druggie’’ who loses out on much valuable time on fulfilling my ineffable dreams. Family onerously teaches discipline.
I could go on and on about the ABC ‘s of family. You know some as well, immature sister-fights or those relatives who express their undesired concern for my biological clock which is nagging. They keep their hands on deck until they hear some marriage bells and even suggest all sorts of techniques on how to raise your child.(the one they did not push or have a C-section for). They fail to recall everyone is ignorant –just on different subjects.
My standpoint on family is basically that is a love hub: regardless of the mistakes and shameful experiences, they will love you. Think of that time when you were a baby mamma in your teenage years ,or running away from home with the scape goat of self-discovery , I cannot say it all.( you know yourself better)I do not care what you’re version of family is ;be it the dramatic Kardashian,care-free Simpson, adopted, extended, single-kid ,true friendship, natural birth, foster care ,only female or only male. Family teaches me that it is in loving and not being loved that the heart is blessed. And so today, I’ll get down on my knees: to thank my God for this amazing blessing of family and if I ever feel that they are less than what The Ultimate Father, Abba thought was best. (Especially when these loving relatives with relentless comments: who also play the tough and irritating role.)I will still pray to God to show me how to love them, because the perfect love of God drives out fear of deadly men.
Daphne Kingman says,’’Today, see if you can stretch your heart and expand your love so that it touches not only those to whom you can give it easily, but also those who need it so much.’’ That clearly is family.
Your love (as an individual), inspired by God’s love for and in others, could stop that suicidal attempt in your family. His love can curl up inside your heart and touch the entire world. Tomorrow is promised to no one; that is why my friend, I’m counting my blessings now; starting with family. Will you join me?